Monday, 20 June 2011

Sharjah's Finest - 'Dr Evil', Farid Ohan

I welcome another HCT story from 'Momo' in Sharjah, this time concerning the universally-loathed 'Dr Evil', a.k.a. 'Fat Freddy'. Keep 'em comin' please, Momo!

There is only one good doctor at Sharjah Women’s College - and that is the bitterly twisted and nasty ‘Dr Evil’, Farid Ohan. His name is already carved on a flaming alabaster cradle in a drafty corridor of hell. As director of Sharjah Women’s College, he has carved out for himself an oasis of servitude and a fiefdom of power driven by the man’s utter lack of decency and respect for anyone but himself. Dr Evil is boss and do not forget that - or you are out the door.

Dr Evil is also known less fondly as Mad Freddy and “Ankles” (three feet below women’s genitalia in the negative sense!) by those who loathe the antics of this hypocrite and prized bullshitter. Now BS may seem to you cruel and unnecessary invective but when you consider the achievements of this clown, then it leaves nothing short of amazement.

Take his SWC Wellness Clinic project of a few years ago. Dr Evil came up with this idea to develop a Wellness Clinic at Sharjah Women’s College to help the hundreds of intellectually disabled students, and also to stifle a massive lesbian problem that seemed to be festering in the latrines of the Communications Faculty and spreading rapidly. It was probably a good idea, but the only service other than lip service that Dr Evil paid to this project was a pile of information leaflets, clinic specs and a list of services that included anything from speech therapy to psychiatric illness and anything else in between. No staff, no buildings, no purpose other than to big note himself, Dr Evil went right ahead and had his hardworking staffers arrange a formal launch. Not bad at all when nothing from nothing leaves nothing. The project has since been abandoned.

Then there was the Centre for Excellence in Education, run by Dr Evil’s former chum Tony “The Dasher” Revell. Even by his own admission, Tony Revell preferred pub crawling to book trawling. But as a grand reward, Dr Evil pronounced Revell as the Dean of Education. That was until Revell was forced into a corner and shyly admitted to fudging exam marks of his charges to allow the eggheads to pass. The flaming torch of nasty boy Ged Ryan was firmly targeted on Revel’s posterior, but Dr Evil was forced to do a Hilary and stand by his man. Now why on earth would Dr Evil ever do such a nice thing for anyone? Instead of sacking the Dean of Education in the Center of Excellence in Education, poor Tony Revell was shafted to the Men’s College and forced to deal with the knuckleheads in the English Foundations program.

Poor old Tony put on a career development workshop at Sharjah Women’s College and the invited guest lead speaker was none other than former SWC staffer Gillian Johnstone, now grandly and incorrectly reincarnated as Professor of the Career and Work Counsellor Program at George Brown College. The delightful Professor Johnstone held seminars and workshops that had academics in stitches as she tried to explain the personality differences between red and blue people, and did not bat a painted eyelid when one of the participants inquired about the brown eye.

It turns out that Tony had Dr Evil over the pork barrel so to speak. The only reason that the now disgraced Dean of Education in the Center for Excellence in Education held on to his pension entitlements was because Dr Evil harboured yet another nasty secret in his filthy satchel. The geriatric pants man was caught with his pants down. There was no way old Tony was going to keep quiet about his need to bring out the delightful Professor Johnstone for a measly few morsels of untested and goofy theories about Personality Dimensions. It was like a kick in the nuts that had Dr Evil gasping with pain. Hide the salami was no longer a game plan.

This leads to another interesting morsel in the sordid life and times of Dr Evil Farid Ohan. Like the time he sacked a popular student counsellor for no particular reason and had the woman replaced by an Australian who turned out to be a marriage counsellor who sold porn on the internet. But that story is for another day.

'Momo'

39 comments:

Anonymous said...

I notice that 'Mad Freddy' is number one on punchinthefacebook.com, and has been so for weeks now!

Anonymous said...

Say what? WTF is this post about? A little too dense and/or obtuse/clever for me. Can anybody here communicate in English or Hinglish?

Rahul Ismail said...

Hahahaha this is good. I know Dr Farid and his ways from past experiences at the college. I did not know his name as Ankles but I agree with the writer. It rhymes with hunt and he smells like fish. So very much a pleasure to see the evil one get his payback. Well done to you for keeping us all informed. Keep it up Suede.

CS said...

Sold porn, eh? Well, in the six years I've been in the Gulf, I've come across a porn star, a porn producer, con-men on the run, retards and criminals, alcoholics and degenerates, as well as the overt and subvert mean and nasty types you would normally stay away from back home if you could.

Honestly, I am thoroughly disenchanted with this whole ESL bull-shit industry. I wish I never got myself into it, but like they say: it sounded like a good idea at the time.

Anonymous said...

news flash...mad freddy/dr.evil has just been made vice provost

Anonymous said...

Bah vice provost.

Farid can be king of the shit heap but he is still a miserable and evil deadshit just like the rear admiral's vice was the vice admiral's rear so too is Farid an ass licker supreme.

Anonymous said...

Yeh, I support that. What Dr Evil don't know about vice ain't worth knowing at all!

Anonymous said...

Provost of what??? I thought you needed to be a university for that -- not a mediocre ´system´of cobbled-together colleges with no sense of direction. The best aim of HCT is not to educate. It is self-aggrandisement. The silly people in the upper echelons keep throwing fancy titles at themselves -- and of course more salary too.

Anonymous said...

Momo's Hungarian is better than her English!

Anonymous said...

MoMo is none other than a disgruntled ex-HCT coordinator who spied and snitched on fellow teachers. She even went as far as surfing the net looking for ‘dirt’ on colleagues she did not like. When her unwanted sexual overtures were ignored by her supervisor, she fabricated lies about him. Her husband, who was working at the same college, requested a quick transfer to another college in shame. Now she recreates herself as a critic of the evil people she so desperately wanted to join.

Anonymous said...

Whoa! Pray do tell more dear informant. It seems that the quiet and very diligent Sharjah Colleges were a seething bed of infidelity, clandestine bed hopping, sexual promiscuity and indulgence. My God! If I had known anything like this was going on during my tenure, I would've demanded a slice of the action. Or I would have endeavored to to hold one over the evil Freddy for a few roubles more. My spies tell me he was a real old raunch bag with some curios predilections but I reserve judgment and say only that looks can be deceiving.

Go Farid, Go hard -- or go home.

Suede Oasis said...

I believe that your assertion regarding the identity of 'Momo' is more than a little off-target, Anon (June 25, 2011 12:07 AM above), but it is, however, very revealing.

In fact, the idea of "a disgruntled ex-HCT coordinator who spied and snitched on fellow teachers" now surfing the web looking for ‘dirt’ on former colleagues is one that typifies HCT management goons to the Nth degree.

They're only happy when they're stitching up teachers, and when they can't do that, they amuse themselves in cannibalistic attempts to incriminate each other.

Charming bunch, the lot of them!

Anonymous said...

My good man Suede. This is what is so sick and pathetic about your blog. Anyone can say anything about anybody without any evidence or qualms.

Anonymous said...

¨without any evidence or qualms¨ -- sounds more like HCT management´s sick and pathetic firing policy -- as in ADW at the end of last year

Suede Oasis said...

My good man Anon (June 25, 2011 5:36 PM). What you mentioned as being 'sick and pathetic' is EXACTLY the same as the tactics employed by HCT - firing good teachers "without any evidence or qualms".

I've pointed this out before, and I'll do so again. I'm happy to employ the same tactics as HCT use in my illumination and persecution of its illegal, unethical and self-aggrandising 'managers' and the antics they lower themselves to in order to deprive hard-working people of their jobs.

It all seems quite valid to me, and it's only the HCT goon squad managers who don't like it when the spotlight is turned on their evil (a.k.a. 'sick and pathetic')ways.

Truth hurts, eh?

Anonymous said...

Suedey-san. You forgot to mention they cheated you of your bonus. Don't let standards slip while we are all on vacation enjoying ourselves.

Suede Oasis said...

As if I need reminding, Anon!

Actually I'll be on holiday myself, so things might be a little quiet round here from July onwards.

Anonymous said...

To Anon (June 25, 2011 12:07 AM), hey tony you are not as smart as you think. and she did not have the hots for you because everyone knew what you were up to red rooster. and she did not write the piece either.

Anonymous said...

Suede, three more hapless faculty sacked and deprived of their entitlements as Dr Evil swung out the door on the way to his swanky holiday house in Florida last week. Guess he thought it would be fun to shed some more innocent blood to celebrate his recent promotion to deputy provost or whatever it is he's going to be when he's back

Anonymous said...

Lord limp-dick - isn't it a bit rich to call your time off in July a "holiday" when you're actually disgraced, unemployed and broke?

Suede Oasis said...

Well, as I'm not broke, disgraced, or unemployed, I guess your information came from the usual reliable source - HCT management!

In fact, if I were all of those things, you'd know my name, Rudi. So go on - spell it out!

But of course, you know nothing - the best qualifications for an HCT management goon!!

Actually, I now have things much better than you guys who endure Castle Kamali and all its traps and pitfalls. Why? Well, simply because, at the end of my holiday ... I don't have to go back to work for HCT!!

In fact my present employer is one who recognises my positive contribution to the college and is prepared to ... aw, but don't let me go on, I'll make you SO jealous, Rudi!!

Suede Oasis said...

PS: I forgot to add that Rudi, head honcho at HCT HR, is in a real bad mood today because he's just seen the latest recruitment figures, and they ain't lookin' good at all!

And who'll get the cane when HCT can't recruit enough staff to survive next year? Why, none other than Rudi, the much-loathed capo di tutti himself!!

And I'm sure you don't need little old me to remind you HOW MUCH we are all looking forward to that day, Rudi...

Anonymous said...

Is this poor woman going to be in trouble now? Will they sack her husband? Suede – do you see what your self-serving and inane blog can do to hurt the innocent? Abandon all hope you poor excuse for a human-being. You’ll never see a dirham of ‘your money’!

Anonymous said...

Who said anything about 'innocent'?

Every Sharjah HCT-er knows that (a) the woman referred to is the infamous 'GeeGee', and as guilty as sin of a range of despicable acts, and (b) 'Momo' is definitely NOT 'GeeGee'.

Anonymous said...

Thought I would pass on this little interlude I had with a former colleague from Sharjah Colleges over a few ales at a popular watering hole in Jumeirah over the weekend. As it were, your blog surfaced in the course of conversation, and may I add, I am reliably informed it is very well received by staff at the palace of the evil Ohan. I learn from my well informed source that the wicked doctor is in fact circumcised according to one of his concubines. To which I could not help adding, yes I know there is no end to the prick.

Maybe we can look forward to a gasping imitation of the old Debbie Does Dallas flick -- Doctor Evil Does Florida.

Anonymous said...

This blog is becoming a repository for sick minds, HCT rejects, and‘unwashed teachers.’

Anonymous said...

Rest easy Anonymous June 26 11:26PM, the infamous Gee-Gee fell foul of Farid long ago and was purged, nothing to do with this blog (before its time). BTW she was many things, but the vile Gee-Gee certainkly wasn't 'innocent'!

Anonymous said...

>In fact my present employer is one
> who recognises my positive
> contribution to the college............

Until they find out Suede you are the author of this blog that is. Now where could you be....... Hmmmmmmmmm, Let's think. Email or letter? So many choices.

Agent O said...

Anon above - you gotta be absolutely c lear who Suede is, first. Look what happened when ADW management were suckered by ADWCamp into thinking Poodle P's real name was Gary/Garry!

Anonymous said...

>Anon above - you gotta be absolutely clear who Suede is

Not really, they just have to be right once. It doesn't matter how many times it takes.

Enjoy your vacation Pig-Skin Pussy! No need to be nervous at all.

Anonymous said...

No, I think Agent O is saying you should make sure Suede O's identity is c lear before outing him.

Anonymous said...

As Suede correctly says, Goon squad managers don't like it when the spotlight is turned on them - even ex-Goon squad managers like MoMo, who have since fallen from grace.

Y'see, dollars to donuts "MoMo" is actually a bloke, and I'm guessing no less a personage than the overglorified woodwork teacher Dr Evil brought in with great fanfare a couple of years ago as his hand-picked "chair of research" - only to later cast him aside when it was obvious to all his main research project at HCT was Gee-Gee, the oversized Hungarian/Australian ex-cruise ship "hostess" mentioned above.

So, the ex-UNESCO chair is now peddling snake oil for MASDAR and apparently raging to whoever will listen to his hatred of SHCT and calling Dr Evil's kettle black. So scarred is he by his time at Sharjah, MoMo's no longer considered fit to be a researcher, instead looking after Masdar's "junior outreach".

Let this sad history serve as a salutary warning to everyone: avoid SHCT like the plague. But MoMo, do keep the stories coming - just remember, you were an HCT "management goon" yourself once, and all too happy to participate in Dr Evil's regime of misery and fear until he turned on you too. Maybe these stories can be a form of therapy...

Anonymous said...

Ha ha, more shenangans at Sharjah! Maybe if he'd put as much energy into his research as he did allegedly doing the Hungarian Polka he wouldn't have got canned? All I can say is our corner of the HCT empire is surely dull by comparison and that suits me just fine

Anonymous said...

So, the infamous Dr. Ken Volk is Momo, that midget of a researcher who ripped off the Sharjah Colleges pretending to do scientific research when all he did was to gossip and spread rumors. Bet you his superiors at Masdar would love to read this blog and see what kind of outreach their man has been involved in!

Anonymous said...

MOMOMOMOMo Mohassas?

Now that is a new ray of lite on the mystery

Anonymous said...

"Anon above - you gotta be absolutely c lear who Suede is, first. Look what happened when ADW management were suckered by ADWCamp into thinking Poodle P's real name was Gary/Garry!"

And, ain't this the evil shit that puts HCT at the bottom of th' heap! I know that the single 'r' had NOTHING to do with it. The double 'r' had a mean streak a mile long. But, what do they do? They disrupt the lives off of mere rumor.

The "system" consists of a series of star chambers and people of conscience should leave!

Anonymous said...

Absolutely! Leave before you get dumped on and pushed overboard.

And I guess that this 'c lear' is supposed to be a reference to a certain IT teacher named Lear who left HCT years ago?

Pathetic, it really is. That ain't even clutching at straws, it's more like shooting in the dark - which is one of the few things that the HCT management muppets are very good at!

Anonymous said...

Garry (double rr) a mean streak?? Sure you don't mean Gary (American Gary?)

Anonymous said...

Doesn't it strike you that MoMo is still at HCT SHJ? Therefore not Ken Volk.

And Mo Mohassas is a rather unlikely mole. It's more likely a name chosen to lead one to think it is Mo Mohassas.

The best thing about Sharjah is that almost anyone could be MoMo... MoMo is a ghost because MoMo is everyone.

I am you as you are me and we are all together... See us all fly like pigs from the sky...