There is only one good doctor at Sharjah Women’s College - and that is the bitterly twisted and nasty ‘Dr Evil’, Farid Ohan. His name is already carved on a flaming alabaster cradle in a drafty corridor of hell. As director of Sharjah Women’s College, he has carved out for himself an oasis of servitude and a fiefdom of power driven by the man’s utter lack of decency and respect for anyone but himself. Dr Evil is boss and do not forget that - or you are out the door.
Dr Evil is also known less fondly as Mad Freddy and “Ankles” (three feet below women’s genitalia in the negative sense!) by those who loathe the antics of this hypocrite and prized bullshitter. Now BS may seem to you cruel and unnecessary invective but when you consider the achievements of this clown, then it leaves nothing short of amazement.
Take his SWC Wellness Clinic project of a few years ago. Dr Evil came up with this idea to develop a Wellness Clinic at Sharjah Women’s College to help the hundreds of intellectually disabled students, and also to stifle a massive lesbian problem that seemed to be festering in the latrines of the Communications Faculty and spreading rapidly. It was probably a good idea, but the only service other than lip service that Dr Evil paid to this project was a pile of information leaflets, clinic specs and a list of services that included anything from speech therapy to psychiatric illness and anything else in between. No staff, no buildings, no purpose other than to big note himself, Dr Evil went right ahead and had his hardworking staffers arrange a formal launch. Not bad at all when nothing from nothing leaves nothing. The project has since been abandoned.
Then there was the Centre for Excellence in Education, run by Dr Evil’s former chum Tony “The Dasher” Revell. Even by his own admission, Tony Revell preferred pub crawling to book trawling. But as a grand reward, Dr Evil pronounced Revell as the Dean of Education. That was until Revell was forced into a corner and shyly admitted to fudging exam marks of his charges to allow the eggheads to pass. The flaming torch of nasty boy Ged Ryan was firmly targeted on Revel’s posterior, but Dr Evil was forced to do a Hilary and stand by his man. Now why on earth would Dr Evil ever do such a nice thing for anyone? Instead of sacking the Dean of Education in the Center of Excellence in Education, poor Tony Revell was shafted to the Men’s College and forced to deal with the knuckleheads in the English Foundations program.
Poor old Tony put on a career development workshop at Sharjah Women’s College and the invited guest lead speaker was none other than former SWC staffer Gillian Johnstone, now grandly and incorrectly reincarnated as Professor of the Career and Work Counsellor Program at George Brown College. The delightful Professor Johnstone held seminars and workshops that had academics in stitches as she tried to explain the personality differences between red and blue people, and did not bat a painted eyelid when one of the participants inquired about the brown eye.
It turns out that Tony had Dr Evil over the pork barrel so to speak. The only reason that the now disgraced Dean of Education in the Center for Excellence in Education held on to his pension entitlements was because Dr Evil harboured yet another nasty secret in his filthy satchel. The geriatric pants man was caught with his pants down. There was no way old Tony was going to keep quiet about his need to bring out the delightful Professor Johnstone for a measly few morsels of untested and goofy theories about Personality Dimensions. It was like a kick in the nuts that had Dr Evil gasping with pain. Hide the salami was no longer a game plan.
This leads to another interesting morsel in the sordid life and times of Dr Evil Farid Ohan. Like the time he sacked a popular student counsellor for no particular reason and had the woman replaced by an Australian who turned out to be a marriage counsellor who sold porn on the internet. But that story is for another day.