A second offering here from 'Momo' in Sharjah. Apparently, Dr Evil is admired greatly as a fat greasy sleazeball with a vampire's taste for firing teachers on the most flimsy of pretexts. Or am I reading it wrong here?!
At Sharjah HCT, the maniacal Dr Evil Farid Ohan has spawned a legacy of hate and promises of vengeance from literally hundreds of disgruntled former staffers and supervisors that he worked over, stabbed in the back, humiliated, abused and shoved out the door to feed his insatiable appetite for meanness and skulduggery. So it is only right and fitting that Dr Evil has his own tribute to nastiness competition. Let’s hear your favourite bit of goss about Mad Freddy and the crazy empire that he dominates with fear out in the backwoods of Sharjah! Here’s one of my favourites.
Every day of the week, the slimy old bastard gets two Indian labourers to wash his company executive sedan that is parked a few metres away from his office, as his stumpy legs are unable to cart this pot bellied old faggot to his throne. Of course, there's nothing wrong with having a handwashed car every day, but the pompous Dr Evil must always do it his own way and insists that the hired helps only use bottled Masafi water in five litre containers to wash his car. What a tosser and a waste of resources.
OK, not good enough? Well, here’s another of my favourites. The old sod loves to repeat this famous line at Sharjah HCT. “I am always so impressed by the enormous talents of our girls and the wonderful projects that they produce. I am constantly amazed by their talents.”
No, you silly old faggot - the teachers are so afraid of losing their jobs that they produce this work, and you just suck it in. Even blind Freddy could see that the knuckleheads do not produce the stuff that amazes Dr Evil. Yet the show goes on!
The rumour mill is buzzing that the bean counters at HCT headquarters in Abu Dhabi are targeting the Sharjah colleges, and Dr Evil Farid Ohan is in their sights. Talk is that college funding has been dubiously distributed and some may have made its way to a final resting place where it was never intended. We await developments with glee. This could be the straw that cracks the camel’s back and sends the tyrant into space as empty as his head.
STOP PRESS: The news that Fat Freddy has been made the HCT vice-provost would seem to challenge the paragraph above. However, we must all remember that what IS and what APPEARS TO BE are not always the same at HCT. Sometimes, it's quite the opposite, in fact.
Tuesday 28 June 2011
Monday 20 June 2011
Sharjah's Finest - 'Dr Evil', Farid Ohan
I welcome another HCT story from 'Momo' in Sharjah, this time concerning the universally-loathed 'Dr Evil', a.k.a. 'Fat Freddy'. Keep 'em comin' please, Momo!
There is only one good doctor at Sharjah Women’s College - and that is the bitterly twisted and nasty ‘Dr Evil’, Farid Ohan. His name is already carved on a flaming alabaster cradle in a drafty corridor of hell. As director of Sharjah Women’s College, he has carved out for himself an oasis of servitude and a fiefdom of power driven by the man’s utter lack of decency and respect for anyone but himself. Dr Evil is boss and do not forget that - or you are out the door.
Dr Evil is also known less fondly as Mad Freddy and “Ankles” (three feet below women’s genitalia in the negative sense!) by those who loathe the antics of this hypocrite and prized bullshitter. Now BS may seem to you cruel and unnecessary invective but when you consider the achievements of this clown, then it leaves nothing short of amazement.
Take his SWC Wellness Clinic project of a few years ago. Dr Evil came up with this idea to develop a Wellness Clinic at Sharjah Women’s College to help the hundreds of intellectually disabled students, and also to stifle a massive lesbian problem that seemed to be festering in the latrines of the Communications Faculty and spreading rapidly. It was probably a good idea, but the only service other than lip service that Dr Evil paid to this project was a pile of information leaflets, clinic specs and a list of services that included anything from speech therapy to psychiatric illness and anything else in between. No staff, no buildings, no purpose other than to big note himself, Dr Evil went right ahead and had his hardworking staffers arrange a formal launch. Not bad at all when nothing from nothing leaves nothing. The project has since been abandoned.
Then there was the Centre for Excellence in Education, run by Dr Evil’s former chum Tony “The Dasher” Revell. Even by his own admission, Tony Revell preferred pub crawling to book trawling. But as a grand reward, Dr Evil pronounced Revell as the Dean of Education. That was until Revell was forced into a corner and shyly admitted to fudging exam marks of his charges to allow the eggheads to pass. The flaming torch of nasty boy Ged Ryan was firmly targeted on Revel’s posterior, but Dr Evil was forced to do a Hilary and stand by his man. Now why on earth would Dr Evil ever do such a nice thing for anyone? Instead of sacking the Dean of Education in the Center of Excellence in Education, poor Tony Revell was shafted to the Men’s College and forced to deal with the knuckleheads in the English Foundations program.
Poor old Tony put on a career development workshop at Sharjah Women’s College and the invited guest lead speaker was none other than former SWC staffer Gillian Johnstone, now grandly and incorrectly reincarnated as Professor of the Career and Work Counsellor Program at George Brown College. The delightful Professor Johnstone held seminars and workshops that had academics in stitches as she tried to explain the personality differences between red and blue people, and did not bat a painted eyelid when one of the participants inquired about the brown eye.
It turns out that Tony had Dr Evil over the pork barrel so to speak. The only reason that the now disgraced Dean of Education in the Center for Excellence in Education held on to his pension entitlements was because Dr Evil harboured yet another nasty secret in his filthy satchel. The geriatric pants man was caught with his pants down. There was no way old Tony was going to keep quiet about his need to bring out the delightful Professor Johnstone for a measly few morsels of untested and goofy theories about Personality Dimensions. It was like a kick in the nuts that had Dr Evil gasping with pain. Hide the salami was no longer a game plan.
This leads to another interesting morsel in the sordid life and times of Dr Evil Farid Ohan. Like the time he sacked a popular student counsellor for no particular reason and had the woman replaced by an Australian who turned out to be a marriage counsellor who sold porn on the internet. But that story is for another day.
'Momo'
Sunday 12 June 2011
HCT defined - "third world autocratic Arab /western facade hybrid wasta system"! [UPDATED]
Here's the latest in a recent flurry of material for posting, this one from 'Revolver'. June will be a busy month indeed on this blog!
And so it goes on. HCT has a deservedly bad reputation, and the Abu Dhabi colleges are the worst. However, I am somewhat surprised that you have left out the other two puppets that make up the three stooges at ADMC. May I ask why they are not on the punch list?
Firstly, there’s the academically inept Ahmed Tabbara, who purchased his qualifications, and would consequently fail his own college graduation requirements, particularly IELES. The idiot is a show bag both in Arabic and English, meaning he is full of shit. Then there’s Dr. Hamad Odhabi, both a puppet and a Muppet, who doesn't have one straight bone in his body. Unsurprisingly, he operates no differently to a typically corrupt Arab politician.
As for the pathetic excuse SiJo, he is clearly a toothless man who underwent a dental transformation after arriving to Abu Dhabi. I mean, I clearly do recall him being toothless, but in later UAE life he became the McClean smile man. Also, a correction to an earlier blog comment - the idiot is certainly not an engineer, he doesn't hold an engineering degree, he simply believes his own shit.
As you can imagine, I did resign because I was asked to pass a group of influential Emirati students that didn’t deserve to be in a class room, let alone pass the course. In fact they weren't even in a class room, as they never showed up for a whole semester, yet they managed with A + for the course. I’m not sure how, but Mr Tabbara does.
In the end they robbed me of my money payout, but in fact I can be satisfied that they are robbing themselves of something more valuable - a reputation and respect in the academic community. That is something they will NEVER achieve under the present corrupt and incompetent management regime.
I just hope that student enrolments in the system are down enough to warrant a wake-up call. I am sure some Emirati students don’t want this third world autocratic Arab /western facade hybrid wasta system, which we all recognize runs the daily system at HCT.
'Revolver'
(Ex-faculty, ADMC)
UPDATE
I guess a little more information is in order, so let’s get the exemplification right here. Sijo, Simon Jones, was initially not short listed for the role as director for ADMC, but was later called back, since the other two decent western gentlemen realised that it was a dodgy organisation. Ahmed Tabbara saw good in Sijo as this would allow him to rule by proxy.
The relationship between the trio began from the first day that SiJo joined HCT. However, the bond grew in strength once Sijo realised the gravity of King Kamali and his watchful eyes on campus (Ahmed Tabbara and Dr Hamad Odhabi). People at the ADMC cafeteria can vouch for this at the daily McDonalds secret lunching, in the far right corner, where they walk past other staff ignoring them all. It was a well known secret that if you wanted to survive in the HCT system, you had to avoid making eye contact with Kamali and his mob.
Typically these lunches discussed the ins and outs of the season much like a coach’s selection committee, picking the best players for the final series. These are merciless men who will terminate someone’s contract for accidentally taking the tomato sauce from their table, I kid you not - it really is like that. Kamali always walked in the middle, and to each flank was a fawning wanker - Tabbara and Odhabi, the trusted hit men. Sijo was jealous, bouncing around in the background like a little poodle - he knew his place: “I want to be part of this pack, please pretty please”!
One day SiJo’s world was to be turned upside down, and he soon realised the vintage Kamali way. Being the arrogant and ignorant fool that he is, SiJo actually thought being a director meant something, or better still - entitled him to make decisions at ADMC! Let’s us begin the public’s education with a course in HCT 101. As autocratic management goes, rule by proxy, and once the dirty work is done, get rid of the westerner and employ another idiot to keep them all in check. By way of example, notice that none of our directors have ever had any real substance, it’s always someone with a underlying issue, a twit, a has-been, a goon, a divorcee who has run away from his wife’s alimony payments (not mentioning any names).
SiJo’s reality check came when he realised that he was simply always going to be the white fool, that they had bought him to be the clean white face of the whole corrupt Emirati operation. So in one way I do almost feel sorry for him. But, oh well, that’s tough - he had his chance, he could have stood his ground, but no; he wanted to be down with the hood, and to retain his black BMW sports edition.
The story goes that our beloved SiJo once decided to take a few of the noble guests from the Festival of Stinkers to Sheikh Nana’s palace unannounced to his boss, the Godfather of crime at HCT, King Kamali. As a result SiJo was publicly humiliated and was asked to leave immediately, as he had overstepped his (non-existent) authority by making decisions such as visiting Sheik Nana without consulting his Boss. It was then explained to him by Ahmed Tabbara that if you could not get hold of Kamali, ask me, Ahmed Tabbara, as traditionally every king has a court clown, and Ahmed Tabbara filled the space marvellously with his side kick Dr Hamad Odhabi. Coincidentally, the two stooges, Ahmed Tabbara and Dr Hamad Odhabi, were later both rewarded with associate director positions at ADMC for their loyal service to the HCT Godfather, ‘Doctor’ Kamali. The question that we beg to ask here is just why would you need to have two associate directors, and a director, deans and supervisors, to run an 1800 Student College?
Bearing in mind that Ahmed Tabbara was a math teacher at the diploma level with no real qualifications, on his Linked In page Ahmed Tabbara's Education is listed as Nova Southeastern University 2002 – 2006, http://ae.linkedin.com/pub/ahmed-tabbara/4/b64/641. Can someone help to disprove this claim, as I am certain for a fact that he never attended that Canadian University, as he has been with HCT since 1993, so how can that be? Explain yourself Ahmed Tabbara!
Oh, let me guess - Ahmed Tabbara’s qualifications are that he lives in the same building as Kamaili on the Corniche Road, entices him with his Middle Eastern foods, does the daily walks with him on the Corniche, and enjoys a good drink with him. Please disprove this claim, if at all possible - tell the world of your claims as to why you, Ahmed Tabbara, were promoted to such a high position as Mr Associate Director with no academic qualifications, please do.
Or maybe your promotion is attributed to all the pretty Lebanese girls that you always employ for entertainment at your functions? Please understand you have the presumption of innocence, as I am not suggesting anything by this. It’s just that your gatherings always resemble a red-light district in your pimp-like presence, wearing your silk suits and ordering – no, screaming! - at the poor Indian/Pakistani staff to bring more food, clean here, there, etc. Not to mention your expertise in fireworks, of course. I will allow others, particularly members of HCT, to comment on the HCT management’s fascination with fireworks. I am sure you would bring shame to Barney the purple dinosaur, can you hear him giggling? As for Dr Hamad Odabi, he qualified for the position due to an unbreakable bond and affiliation with both Kamali and Ahmed Tabbara.
And so it goes on. HCT has a deservedly bad reputation, and the Abu Dhabi colleges are the worst. However, I am somewhat surprised that you have left out the other two puppets that make up the three stooges at ADMC. May I ask why they are not on the punch list?
Firstly, there’s the academically inept Ahmed Tabbara, who purchased his qualifications, and would consequently fail his own college graduation requirements, particularly IELES. The idiot is a show bag both in Arabic and English, meaning he is full of shit. Then there’s Dr. Hamad Odhabi, both a puppet and a Muppet, who doesn't have one straight bone in his body. Unsurprisingly, he operates no differently to a typically corrupt Arab politician.
As for the pathetic excuse SiJo, he is clearly a toothless man who underwent a dental transformation after arriving to Abu Dhabi. I mean, I clearly do recall him being toothless, but in later UAE life he became the McClean smile man. Also, a correction to an earlier blog comment - the idiot is certainly not an engineer, he doesn't hold an engineering degree, he simply believes his own shit.
As you can imagine, I did resign because I was asked to pass a group of influential Emirati students that didn’t deserve to be in a class room, let alone pass the course. In fact they weren't even in a class room, as they never showed up for a whole semester, yet they managed with A + for the course. I’m not sure how, but Mr Tabbara does.
In the end they robbed me of my money payout, but in fact I can be satisfied that they are robbing themselves of something more valuable - a reputation and respect in the academic community. That is something they will NEVER achieve under the present corrupt and incompetent management regime.
I just hope that student enrolments in the system are down enough to warrant a wake-up call. I am sure some Emirati students don’t want this third world autocratic Arab /western facade hybrid wasta system, which we all recognize runs the daily system at HCT.
'Revolver'
(Ex-faculty, ADMC)
UPDATE
I guess a little more information is in order, so let’s get the exemplification right here. Sijo, Simon Jones, was initially not short listed for the role as director for ADMC, but was later called back, since the other two decent western gentlemen realised that it was a dodgy organisation. Ahmed Tabbara saw good in Sijo as this would allow him to rule by proxy.
The relationship between the trio began from the first day that SiJo joined HCT. However, the bond grew in strength once Sijo realised the gravity of King Kamali and his watchful eyes on campus (Ahmed Tabbara and Dr Hamad Odhabi). People at the ADMC cafeteria can vouch for this at the daily McDonalds secret lunching, in the far right corner, where they walk past other staff ignoring them all. It was a well known secret that if you wanted to survive in the HCT system, you had to avoid making eye contact with Kamali and his mob.
Typically these lunches discussed the ins and outs of the season much like a coach’s selection committee, picking the best players for the final series. These are merciless men who will terminate someone’s contract for accidentally taking the tomato sauce from their table, I kid you not - it really is like that. Kamali always walked in the middle, and to each flank was a fawning wanker - Tabbara and Odhabi, the trusted hit men. Sijo was jealous, bouncing around in the background like a little poodle - he knew his place: “I want to be part of this pack, please pretty please”!
One day SiJo’s world was to be turned upside down, and he soon realised the vintage Kamali way. Being the arrogant and ignorant fool that he is, SiJo actually thought being a director meant something, or better still - entitled him to make decisions at ADMC! Let’s us begin the public’s education with a course in HCT 101. As autocratic management goes, rule by proxy, and once the dirty work is done, get rid of the westerner and employ another idiot to keep them all in check. By way of example, notice that none of our directors have ever had any real substance, it’s always someone with a underlying issue, a twit, a has-been, a goon, a divorcee who has run away from his wife’s alimony payments (not mentioning any names).
SiJo’s reality check came when he realised that he was simply always going to be the white fool, that they had bought him to be the clean white face of the whole corrupt Emirati operation. So in one way I do almost feel sorry for him. But, oh well, that’s tough - he had his chance, he could have stood his ground, but no; he wanted to be down with the hood, and to retain his black BMW sports edition.
The story goes that our beloved SiJo once decided to take a few of the noble guests from the Festival of Stinkers to Sheikh Nana’s palace unannounced to his boss, the Godfather of crime at HCT, King Kamali. As a result SiJo was publicly humiliated and was asked to leave immediately, as he had overstepped his (non-existent) authority by making decisions such as visiting Sheik Nana without consulting his Boss. It was then explained to him by Ahmed Tabbara that if you could not get hold of Kamali, ask me, Ahmed Tabbara, as traditionally every king has a court clown, and Ahmed Tabbara filled the space marvellously with his side kick Dr Hamad Odhabi. Coincidentally, the two stooges, Ahmed Tabbara and Dr Hamad Odhabi, were later both rewarded with associate director positions at ADMC for their loyal service to the HCT Godfather, ‘Doctor’ Kamali. The question that we beg to ask here is just why would you need to have two associate directors, and a director, deans and supervisors, to run an 1800 Student College?
Bearing in mind that Ahmed Tabbara was a math teacher at the diploma level with no real qualifications, on his Linked In page Ahmed Tabbara's Education is listed as Nova Southeastern University 2002 – 2006, http://ae.linkedin.com/pub/ahmed-tabbara/4/b64/641. Can someone help to disprove this claim, as I am certain for a fact that he never attended that Canadian University, as he has been with HCT since 1993, so how can that be? Explain yourself Ahmed Tabbara!
Oh, let me guess - Ahmed Tabbara’s qualifications are that he lives in the same building as Kamaili on the Corniche Road, entices him with his Middle Eastern foods, does the daily walks with him on the Corniche, and enjoys a good drink with him. Please disprove this claim, if at all possible - tell the world of your claims as to why you, Ahmed Tabbara, were promoted to such a high position as Mr Associate Director with no academic qualifications, please do.
Or maybe your promotion is attributed to all the pretty Lebanese girls that you always employ for entertainment at your functions? Please understand you have the presumption of innocence, as I am not suggesting anything by this. It’s just that your gatherings always resemble a red-light district in your pimp-like presence, wearing your silk suits and ordering – no, screaming! - at the poor Indian/Pakistani staff to bring more food, clean here, there, etc. Not to mention your expertise in fireworks, of course. I will allow others, particularly members of HCT, to comment on the HCT management’s fascination with fireworks. I am sure you would bring shame to Barney the purple dinosaur, can you hear him giggling? As for Dr Hamad Odabi, he qualified for the position due to an unbreakable bond and affiliation with both Kamali and Ahmed Tabbara.
So that’s how the trio came about. I hope you have enjoyed this update – there’s more to follow soon!
Wednesday 1 June 2011
Ged 'Misery Guts' Ryan - A Tribute from a Colleague
My thanks go to 'MoMo', an insider at the Sharjah Colleges of Technology, for this revealing piece concerning Ged Ryan. The cheque's in the post, MoMo!
Ged Ryan is one of the grey men of Sharjah Women’s College. He arrived at HCT Sharjah about a decade ago after a stint at a venerable institution of higher learning in Papua New Guinea, no less. He spends his days peering over a giant pile of manila files stacked high on his desk, in the style of a dedicated and conscientous employee.
However, do not misunderestimate the cunning ruthlessness of this slime ball. He does the bidding at the call of his master, boss, and mentor - Dr Evil “Mad Freddy” Farid Ohan.
Ryan openly covets his master’s job as boss cocky at SHCT, and he has been working at his doctorate for some years now. The man is no intellectual giant and some would say, not unkindly, that the day of reckoning has long passed him by. In fact, Ged Ryan has almost definitely missed his doctorate and also missed his chance at ever getting Dr Evil’s job, because new rules in place reserve the title of college director.
Yet this has not stopped the smouldering giant. He makes life miserable for the teaching staff by arriving unannounced at class times to observe teaching practices; at other times he simply summonses some hapless teacher to his office for a grilling. If Dr Evil carries the dagger, then he does his dirty little deeds upon Ged Ryan’s twisted and bitter recommendation.
So, if you are a new teacher at Sharjah, give this misery guts a wide berth if you can. If you have been unlucky enough to get entangled in his wicked web of deceit, been threatened by his devious agenda, or had an unexpected visit to your class, it would be well worth your while to keep a packed bag ready for any emergencies.
MoMo
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